Tap tap. I have an appointment for tomorrow at 1pm with Dr Berry. I had to call and leave a message to get the appointment Tap tap.

Because here’s the thing I figured out yesterday. If I don’t see Dr. Berry until Friday to review the scans and then we need to schedule a tap, it will mean living in pain and ignorance well into next week. Thankfully, the Bradenton office of Florida Cancer Center is staffed with very competent and helpful people and my plea yesterday was answered this morning. Labs in the morning and scan review in the afternoon.

I was thinking about the importance of the “tap.” …such a little thing really. Tap tap Excuse me .. I need help.

Why are we reticent to ask for help?

We all start out life as natural self advocates, willing to scream, red-faced and completely focused on getting what we need. Slowly we learn to wait our turns, stand in line quietly, take what is given to us and be grateful.

Self-Advocacy is not selfishness. We all live in complex sharing societies. Self-advocacy is

• The ability to tell the difference between a “want” and a “need.”
• Knowing which option to choose based on the possible outcomes.
• The ability to initiate and take action when needed.
• Knowing how to employ problem-solving skills

If you have no other take away from this rollercoaster ride we are sharing, I hope you will embrace the idea of being your own advocate. Not just for medical decisions. Speaking up for ourselves is a basic skill. At work, at play, in love, as a child, a parent, a partner and a patient.

Think about advocacy as self-sponsorship. It is not raising your hand and waiting for your turn. It is proactively getting out there and ensuring that your voice is heard. Of course, there are times and places where must wait our turns. But, that is not where I live now.