Let me first start by saying that I am not admitting that I made a bad choice. I believe my choice was and remains sound. I only admit that the recovery is kicking my butt.

Friday’s laparoscopic surgery. The choice to have it was based on my belief that knowledge provides for better decisions. Of course, you will notice many times throughout my journal that I splash about joyfully in blissful ignorance. This time, however, I had to acknowledge that the time for blissful ignorance is past.

So I eagerly embraced the laparoscopy. The procedure is also known as keyhole surgery. Just a peek through the keyhole. Let’s see what does not show up on CT or PET scans. A check in on Flathead and the Ascites. Now that’s a good name for a band!

Friday we will get the results of the invasion. Meanwhile, I’m on day 3 of lay on my butt and medicate the pain away. I looked back at the laparoscopy from last September and even quizzed Bunny about my previous recovery, but our memories are fuzzy so I’m not sure that this level of discomfort is to be expected. I am sure I hate it!

But tomorrow’s another day. I will start to heal. Healing takes time, love, patience. I can give that to myself.

“Three routes to healing:
1. You must let the pain visit.
2. You must allow it to teach you.
3. You must not allow it to overstay.”
― Ijeoma Umebinyuo