My day started early with a quick trip to Bishop Animal Shelter where our limpy lou, Delilah had her blood drawn. I am waiting to hear back from Lauren, the new Foster Coordinator, about when I will need to transport Delilah to the Surgical Center in Sarasota for evaluation. Lauren thinks that the surgery may be done at that time as well.

I have a little pain in my belly today and am unsure whether it is due to the sweet potato fries I indulged in last night or just par for the course, I am struck by how my bodily functions are so scrutinized since my diagnosis. It reminds me of when I kept such a careful eye on baby Jake, monitoring the color of his poop, being sure he burped and applauding his bodily achievements. This obsessions waned with my second son who was born when Jake was only 19 months old and completely disappeared when Zach came along 21 months after that. With 3 kids under 4 years old, I was too busy for such close scrutiny and felt accomplished if I remembered to change Zach’s diaper!

With this in mind, I wrote the following song. Sing along to the tune of “I’m Getting Married in the Morning”

I did my labs this morning. While I was waiting, I chatted with 2 other patients. One was a gentleman who has been treated by Dr. Barry for the past 25 months. When we touched on the subject of our ports ( all 3 of us have them) he related how much the insertion of the needle hurt. I haven’t experienced that so I feel lucky. We shared some stories and generally agreed that this cancer treatment stuff involves a shit ton of trial and error.

Then it was onto First Watch, a great breakfast/brunch/lunch place. Jake and I enjoyed Sue’s company and some great food. The next stop for Sue was going to be at her hand doctor. She gets regular steroid injections into her fingers for her arthritis. I asked her if that hurt and she said “Hell yes!” Jake has been experiencing pain from carpal tunnel syndrome and Sue called later from the doctor’s office and put Jake on the phone with the doctor, who , as it turns out, knows someone in La Jolla that Jake can see. Sue always always goes the extra mile to help out.

This afternoon, Jake and I took the trike and bike out to cruise around Amberwynd, a beautiful gated community where Tom and Becky live. Their back yard borders a large lake and the bird watching is amazing. We biked around Sneed island before returning home.

So, that pain on my stomach has intensified and I’m hoping that the CBD/THC infused chocolate will provide relief. It always sucks to have a pain day thrown in just when I am feeling stronger. Here we go again!

Tonight I posted the journal link on Facebook.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but I have journaled since April 22, 2022, the day I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. My journal has been a tremendous therapy for me and a great way to connect with friends who want to follow my journey with cancer. If you are interested in reading it, it is now available on a blog, thanks to help from my son Jake Craigmile. Please excuse all the references, songs and poems about pooping, but that is my reality. Start at the first entry from April and you’ll get more comfortable with the title. 😛

Almost immediately, I got a message from a high school friend. The sentiments Mimi wrote confirms my decision to go very public and share my journey through a blog. So many good things are happening because of it. For instance, I am getting memories of me that I don’t remember. I love reconnecting with old friends that knew my former selves We grow and change constantly but that baby, that little girl, that teenager, that 20 something, that 30 something, 40 something, 50 something and now 60 something lives within us still. Man, I’m OLD! Point is that everyone can reach out to old friends anytime….you don’t have to wait till you think your dying.

So, back to the message from Mimi a friend from my high school years. Reading it brought out deep emotions.

I started reading your journal just
now. I haven’t gotten terribly far but I
wanted to pause so I could reach out
to you and tell you that I love you and
that I am so glad you are sharing this
experience. I have so many fun
memories of you back when we were
in high school. I always enjoyed being
around you because you were so
funny and always happy and ready to
have a good laugh. I thought of you as
someone intelligent and strong-
willed, a force to be reckoned with. It
would appear you are still that funny,
happy, smart and strong-willed girl I
remember.
You are in my thoughts, Debbie Starr.
Keep on writing. Keep on fighting.