November 10, 2022

Arlington National Cemetery is one of two national cemeteries run by the United States Army. Nearly 400,000 people are buried in its 639 acres in Arlington, Virginia. There are about 30 funerals conducted on weekdays and 7 held on Saturday.

The day that we’ve been waiting for finally came. We all piled in the 12 person van and arrived at ANC in 20 minutes. The weather could not have been nicer… No clouds in the sky, bright sunshine, and temperatures in the 50s. The foliage has fallen off most of the trees but here you see a bright orange tree and there a red one. Claire and I are both keen to take some foliage pictures with the baby of course.

We arrived in the admin building where we met the funeral Director. For some odd reason, only 10 people are allowed in the room at a time (never was told why) so cousin Deena and Bunny stayed outside and enjoyed the great weather. The funeral Director went over a lot of things with my sister. He kept referring to my dad as her husband ….so sorry for the loss of your husband. ….Condolences for the loss of your husband Even after he was corrected, he kept saying husband or son. It became a running gag.

One of the funniest and most surreal moment came when the funeral director realized that I was not some Rando but this other sister and he started laughing. He reached over, took my hand, and while he was laughing hysterically, said “I’m sorry for your loss. My condolences.” Everyone in the room was laughing along. I told him that was probably one of the worst condolences on record.

The rabbi was late and the Funeral Director was getting nervous. When

Eventually, Rabbi Randy Brown did arrive, we found him to be kind and very easy to relate to. Krista asked him what the Kaddish was and he gave a detailed and beautiful description of the prayer.

Of the five variations of the Kaddish; the best known is the Mourner’s Kaddish. The prayer never mentions death or dying, but instead proclaims the greatness of God.

The Rabbi explained that it is not only for sad occasions, but can be used to celebrate one’s time on earth ….exactly what we’re doing for Dad.

The funeral director finished his instructions reminding us that we were running late ( not our fault) and could we please be sure to stay with the program. As instructed, we followed him in our vehicles until we met up with the military contingent. Here are the honors that Dad received:

Firing party
Bugler
Folding of and presentation of the U.S. flag
Marching element
Military band
Caisson
Riderless horse

After this part of the ceremony, the Funeral Director said we could follow the horse drawn procession on foot (the cars were to be driven behind us) but once again stressed the need to keep up. It was about 1/4 to 1/2 mile and I wondered if he was directing his comments to me and my trusty rollerator. In any case, I was sure I could walk it.

Halfway there one of the horses decided to go on strike. The procession halted while said rebellious equine was addressed. After unsuccessful negotiations, the wagon team pulled to the side of the road and dad was handed off to a soldier to be hand carried the rest of the way. Judith was alarmed. “They’re taking Dad,” she cried. “They’re taking Dad”.

We continued on to the gravesite where we quickly informed the Funeral Director that our delay was most definitely not our fault. Another running gag 😂

The ceremony was lovely. The bugler played taps, the band played, the rifles fired, and the rabbi said some prayers and kind words. He had brought some dirt from Israel which Zach mixed in with local dirt and each of us took turns putting a handful into the grave.

Dad”s celebration of life continued with dinner at the Chart House restaurant where libations and good food was enjoyed by all. Abby continued to amaze us with her good temperament despite the long day and late hour. My stomach continued to torture me on an intermittent basis but I preserved and enjoyed the company and the meal.