Another beautiful morning in Florida winter. Bright sunshine, a nice breeze and Chester and Baxter and Roxy and I are sitting outside. The chemo is not aggravating me since the nasty drug is excluded so I’m looking forward to a productive day. Hans took Annelise and the girls to jungle Gardens and I think I will use the time to start taking out the Christmas decorations.
Took tincture with my lunch and I my mind is filled with emotions. I can report that the predominant one is happy. I have definitely decided that I am hungry for life. I want to do whatever I need to to be here, really be here. I don’t want to live just to breathe, but the chance of being able to have more time while still feeling relatively good is intoxicating!
I’m revealing a secret here
On November 18th, Hans and I became engaged. The reason I haven’t said anything is because Hans and I wanted to tell our kids in person. At first , we were going to wait until Christmas when everyone would physically be here. But on November 30th, when Brenden and Claire were here, I realized that I wanted to tell them. Their faces lit up.
Today, we FaceTimed with Zach and Caro. I had First texted them to see when a good time for us to be online together would be, but that created anxiety, considering what the news might be.
Caro: I didn’t want to ask over the phone but is the talk tonight just to catch up, etc or is there news? It made me a lil anxious (what’s new) so I wanted to check
I assured her it was good news, and a little later Zach called to check in as well. When we spoke to them together, I asked them to guess what the news was. Caro said …you’re pregnant …no wait…you’re getting married! What followed was lots of smiles and congratulations.
We just got off of a FaceTime chat with Jake and Krista who were surprised and delighted. All in all, this fiancé stuff is pretty fun 🙂
In January, Hans will officially become their stepfather 🙂 He proposed in probably the most Appropriately romantic way possible. He wrote me a song. As he started to sing it, he choked on his emotion, and it took several false starts before he could sing his proposal to me. Sung to the tune of Are You Lonesome Tonight?”
You are Starr, Debra …Sue
You do know I love you
We should never be ever alone
T’was on our very first date, that we knew it was fate
When I smelled you and thought I was home
Do the years shared together seem magic and fair
Do you see your next wedding and picture me there?
though your gut’s full with pain , will you marry again?
Tell me dear, wil you marry me please?
Of course, I said yes.
So for all of you who have cancer, here’s something I’ve learned. Don’t start any conversation with “can we talk”. ….start it with “I have good news” if you can.😉
Also, the line about Hans smelling me might need a little explanation. Ha ha. The night Hans and I met 15+ years ago, there was a point in the evening where we were standing next to each other…I think to see how much taller he was than me. Anyway, that is when he told me that I smelled like home (and that it was a good thing) I think the point was that we both felt instantly connected and familiar with each other. Our senses of humor, our values and our hopes and dreams seemed aligned even in the early days.
Dying with Debra 
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