After my labs, Hans and I met with Dr Berry and YES I read/sang my Adapted version of Buttercup Baby to him.  He had said something that was the perfect segue and I simply could not resist🙃 Hans was initially not a fan but he was laughing right along with Dr Berry. The Doctor’s favorite verse ….

Cancer blows  cancer blows I suppose you must know that 

You’ve known all along from the start

So build me up (build me up) Chemo man and  help me fart 

Because it has the word “fart” in it.  Doc and Hans agreed that you can’t go wrong using fart in your songs!  Further affirmation of the majority of my songs hahah 

So, down to business ..We discussed:

1. Eliminating the nasty drug entirely if the scan shows improvement   The Oxaliplatin causes most of the ill effects of the chemo.  Doc says it does do a lot of the cancer killing though. In general, the “platin” drugs are an effective but bad bunch because they are metal based. Dr.Berry explained that our bodies do not like metal and react adversely and I am living proof.  
2. Pet scan vs CT scan. Both are useful but give different info.  He decided on ordering the Pet scan so we can get an idea how contained my cancer is. It will still show shrinkage 🤞                             or growth 👎 or no change (sorry, I don’t have a finger emoji for that)
3. Possibility of going on maintenance if the scan is good. There is a pill regime  that has promise .  One of Doc’s patients has taken it for 3 years and is living symptom free. Scans would still be taken at prescribed intervals to ensure that the cancer stays in check.  

This last bit of news gave me such a feeling of HOPE.  (I am crying as I write this)…Honestly, I haven’t allowed myself a lot of hope for the long term.  I just live each day the best I can and keep try to keep the flame of hope alive while acknowledging that I may only have a year or two.   I have never extend my thoughts to a longer term future, BUT  today gave us a peak behind that curtain of uncertainty. For maybe the first time since my diagnosis , Hans and I saw the possibility to end this Chemo Shite and for us to have MORE TIME! More time would be AMAZING.  Enough said ….we will know more after the scan on December 9th. Meanwhile, I’ll hold on to that hope a lot title bit tighter. 

Oh, also, doc wants me to gain weight so on the way home we stopped at McDonald’s and I ate a cheeseburger,a fish sandwich and a hot fudge  ice cream sundae. I know it’s not the world’s healthiest food, but it tasted really good.

What a fun, silly night we had tonight when Brenden, Claire and Abby came over to meet Annelise and the girls. We ate Thai takeaway and lots of pretend cake and cookies which Autumn served  In the form of The Wall  Street Journal and puzzle pieces. The older girls loved baby Abigail who was fascinated with the little humans.