10 AM and I am sitting in a recliner with a warm blanket on getting anti-nausea and fluids before my shot. 

While I’m sitting here, I’ll try to rethink my whole pain management strategy. Dr. Becky read my journal and had quite a bit to say to me.

I just read some of your latest posts in your journal.  My initial reaction is that your concentration on pain medication avoidance may deserve a different strategy. I would submit that a concept of “pain management” and “symptom management” may be more constructive.  In other words, if we can find a “recipe” for identifying medications/substances that may offer relief, without you feeling like you are loosing control, and develop better timing for taking such remedies, I believe you may create a more positive and constructive approach toward balancing the pain cycle.  Part of the plan focuses on not letting any of the symptoms that you describe get out of hand.  In other words, if you attempt no medications until you absolutely must have something, there is the loss of control. And there is a drastic effort to minimize the pain as soon as possible.  Conversely, if we can find a balance of pain relief/medication that may have a better balance…. Maybe a little more  medicated feeling than needed in some hours, but enough to take the edge off when you anticipate the pain will increase.  Sometimes thinking about administrating your pain formula every 4-6 hours.  Once the pain gets “bad”, it is really hard to regain control.  As you can see, then it becomes a roller coaster instead of managing a level, even keel. As you can imagine, I can use many nautical analogies (like storm and calm seas).  If we can strive toward ‘“symptom management” you may feel more confident and not so focused on “days with no medication”, especially during your chemo after days. I just think you should praise yourself for effectively managing your symptoms instead of punishing yourself if you break and must take pain or thrust medication, thereby surrendering your no medication day.

I am so pleased that you have found remedies in your toolbox that specifically  work for you. With that in mind, perhaps timing and a balanced strategy for taking your medication and using varying strengths, you move toward balance. Recognize some of your better days may be tempered, but these horrific tumbles downward may be better eased. I am happy to talk with you further as communicating via message is not my best venue. I again send my gentle hugs and positive energies, as well as my listening ear!  

BTW… I can’t wait to see little Miss Penelope again!  I know she made your day!  Sleep well, Stay strong. Love and miss you….  Becky

Becky is so easy to love 🙂

Just got off the phone with Becky and we got into a big discussion about the lack of pain management care for cancer patients. As we discussed before, both Moffitt and the Florida Cancer Center provide a nutritionist, which is great. What facilities do not offer, however, is a pain management center.  The argument could be made that everyone is different and needs specialized advice, which is exactly why we need a pain management center.

We also talked about the right to cry, and to be sad. Which reminds me, here’s a very valuable piece of advice for those who cry easily and often. 

Get yourself a good waterproof mascara 😜

Things that make me happy today…

Zach is adopting a dog today. Her name is Mamma Maya. This poor mommy dog was a stray and gave birth to eight puppies under a random shed. The puppies have all been placed, and Maya has been in a great foster home. She is housebroken, crate, trained, very loving and even likes cats 🙂 she does have trust issues as one would expect and will need a patient and loving home while she develops her confidence.

Zachary will help her understand that the world is a great place to be and that she is safe and loved.  He is just the man for the job! 

Zach  loves dogs and cats and animals as much as I do.  He grew up surrounded by rescue pets. 

When the kids were little, we lived for a time  in Tulsa, Oklahoma. This was back in 1991. Jake was born in 1988 in Scottsdale, Arizona, Brenden was born in 1989 in Waukesha, Wisconsin, and Zachary was born in 1991 in Tulsa, Oklahoma. My mom told me to stop moving…you have enough children —-as if the moves  were the reason for the pregnancies ha ha   

The boys and I frequented Petsmart. Petsmart does not sell retail puppies and cats but instead offers space for rescues to promote adoptions. Back then, we would ask to play with a puppy or kitten and the kids and I would sit in a room and have a great time. 

Once the two older boys were in school and Zachary had half-day kindergarten, I joined ARF.  (Animal rescue foundation)I went to the shelter every four days to rescue the small percentage that we could. This was back in 1995-1998 and only about 40% of the animals that came into the shelter made it out alive. Each pet had only four days to be adopted or rescue. Hence the every four day visits… Needless to say, I felt that this work was very important, and it came with the added benefit of having puppies in our house all the time 🙂 now that I’m older, and look back at the young me with three children within 3 1/2 years of each other and puppies galore, I wonder at Young Deb’s energy level and sanity!