I’m reclining with 2 warmed blankets and premeds dripping from tubes into my body.  I woke up feeling strong and happy today despite the prospect of a puny feeling week ahead.  Maybe it’s the fact that I enjoyed a week of good eating and exercising, maybe it’s the love I’ve been receiving from friends and family…who knows why, but I feel good.  

Hans and I met with Dr. Berry after my labs (which were fine)  and told him about the phone call from Myra, Dr Dineen’s assistant  who was trying to schedule the CRS/HIPEC surgery.  Dr. Berry found it equally mystifying because

1. The report from the laparoscopy said I was NOT a candidate
2.   We are not through treatment and will need additional scans/tests to determine if the surgery is appropriate.

Dr Berry explained that the surgery can be helpful after most of the cancer is gone.  

Here’s how it works. 

CRS surgery is completed to remove tumors. Next, a heated chemotherapy ( about 108 degrees)is placed inside the abdominal cavity for a few hours. The idea is to kill any remaining microscopic cancer cells.   

The surgery lasts 8-14 hours.  The patient is hospitalized for 10-12 days and recovery time is at least 3 months.  There are associated risks of course, including bleeding and infections.  Other side effects are pain, nausea and vomiting,  constipation or diarrhea, bloating, weight loss, difficulty sleeping, fatigue and depression.  Add in a risk of blood clots, entercutaneous fistula (an abnormal opening between the intestines and the skin) or experiencing an anastomotic leak ( a leak that occurs when 2 sections of the intestines fail to join together properly after being reconnected). The surgery could extend my life but it is NOT curative.  

Sounds like a real blast😫. 

Unfortunately, I have now officially crossed reached my threshold of research and tears are ruining my makeup.  I hate crying at chemo! 

At any rate, Dr Berry agreed that we don’t have to make decisions yet so I’ll file the surgery as “ a problem for another day.”

I’m home in bed now in comfy pjs munching on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The chemo effects have begun, and the first bites are always very strange. Both sides of the top of my jaws ache for just a little while after I put food in my mouth. After a few moments,  my body seems to say to itself,” calm down, it’s just food” and I am able to chew and swallow. Another controlling factor of this chemo is that if I start to tear up and want to cry, the space outside of my eyebrows on the right and left start to hurt. Right now it’s not the pain that is making me want to cry, it’s the weakness as my body is shaking. This too shall pass …this too shall pass.

I have just sent this journal to Nurses Wendy and  Amanda at their request. I will be interested to hear what their reactions are and if/how they find it helpful for people in the medical community as well as for cancer patients.

I like both of these quotes ….

It’s almost 8 PM and I don’t want to sound like a complainer, but I do want to document how the chemo affects me this week. I am experiencing overall body pain and my head hurts especially when I cry. Thankfully, Hans is taking over puppy duty tonight and I am going to take my Tylenol p.m. and try to go to sleep early . Maybe tomorrow will be better. For now, I think I will put my AirPods in my ears and listen to my favorite music.