Since beginning this chemo session, I have been a proverbial puddle of tears.  I’m not sure if it’s the symptoms, emotional impact of  facing a reduced life span (12-36 months), or the drugs..most probably a combination of those things. So, I will return to inspiring quotes to try to move forward with a few less tears. 

“Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.” – C.S. Lewis

Here are some facts about crying that i have discovered:

  1. Continuous tears keep the surface around the eye moist in order to        protect against infection.

1. Reflex tears flow when something irritates the eye area.
2. Emotional tears have a different chemical make-up and can be a natural pain killer.   ( not sure this one is accurate in my case) 
3. Crying helps regulate the highs and lows of emotional extremes. 
4. Crying, especially when feeling down, shouldn’t embarrass you. Instead, it says you are able to manage your mental health. Pretending everything is okay doesn’t solve anything. All it does is lead to pent-up emotions. 

That said….

I spent 3 hours at the cancer center, where I was administered fluids, and later, a shot to build up my white blood cells. So far it’s helped somewhat…I only feel 83 years old instead of 103 years old!

BTW. I just finishef  a book called Summer Island by Kristin  Hannah. In the story, one of the characters is dying of cancer. His younger brother is naturally distraught and says that he does not know how to get through this world without his older brother.  The dying man tells him not to imagine the world without him but go back in time and remember what they had instead. He explains that this allows him not to think about what he is losing.  I’m still mulling over the whole idea …more about this later.