The pain is back. It started last night and has continued into the morning.  I am fairly confident that we solved the “ mystery of the source of the pain,” this morning when we looked at the bagel thins that Hans had bought. Instead of the tried and trusted plain bagels that I cherish, Hans accidentally purchased  everything bagels— complete with everything that causes me pain!  Oy vey

Meanwhile, my anxiety level is sky high as we prepare to meet with Dr. Barry to go over the Results of the biopsy.  I hope his prognosis is better than the 12-36 months Dr Dineen gave me. 

• While Hans and I wait in the waiting room, I’ll tell you about the Netflix series we are watching titled “Extraordinary Attorney Woo. Extraordinary Attorney Woo follows Woo Young-woo, a female rookie attorney with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) who is hired by a major law firm. 

I personally love the writing and cinematography.  Spoiler Alert :  I am going to reveal a sub plot that begins at episode 13. 

Attorney Woo’s mentor,Jung Myung-seok, starts coughing up blood and he is diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer.  Later in the show they refer to it as stomach cancer which is what they were probably meaning to say all along.  

I have learned that cancer doesn’t affect all ethnic groups the same. Certain types of cancer are more common in some groups than others. Liver and stomach cancer occur at higher rates within the Asian American community, which explains the plot line.

Colon cancer is more common for Ashkenazi Jews  ( Jews of European descent) …thank you genetics

Two genetic mutations associated with Ashkenazi heritage are linked to gastrointestinal cancers: APC (Adenomatous Polyposis Coli) – causes an increased risk of colon cancer. This mutation is found in about 6% of Ashkenazi Jews. Their risk of colon cancer is about double that of the general population.  The observed increased incidence of colorectal cancer in Ashkenazi Jews compared to other populations is unexplained but likely has a genetic component. 

Anyway, back to Attorney Jung…although he has always been a workaholic, he now begins to  reflect on his life and appreciate nature and  human interaction.  Young Wo has a photographic memory and recites the odds of him surviving 5 years to be 30-40% with a high degree of reoccurrence.   I was able to relate to his transformation and sadness. In the last scene that I saw last night, he proudly watched his team of young attorneys flourish and smiles knowing that he has made a difference   It is how I feel when I watch my sons.  

Ok. Now let’s get back to the cancer center. Having given blood, Hans and I are now waiting for the Dr.  The facility is jammed and the parking lot completely full since this is the first day back after the hurricane played havoc with our lives. The center is taking Sarasota patients while Sarasota takes patients from Ft Myers, a southwest city that was hit very hard by Hurricane Ian.  Before cancer came my way , I never appreciated how dire weather conditions can be on medically dependent people. Despite the added stress, everyone here has cheerfully been working their butts off.  I know we all feel grateful that the hurricane eye turned before it got to us! 

Here are the long awaited results from Dr Berry shown as answers to our previously thought up questions….Warning: They are extremely anti-climatic. 

1. If the only way we could see the flat tumor on my small intestine is with the endoscopic surgery, how do we track it and make sure that it is responding to Chemo assuming that there is a chemo that can wipe it out     Answer. There is no way short of surgery to track flathead.  We will go forward with the same chemo since it worked before.                      
2. What does the pathology report say about our progress in fighting the cancer and where does it point us to in the future?       We keep doing the chemo that we have been doing until it is no longer effective.  At that point, we might switch to other chemo drugs that have more severe symptoms associated with them. Mostly lots of diarrhea! The doctor explained that some of these last moment options might buy me six months, but only relieve pain after three months of suffering. He shrugged and said “I don’t know that it’s worth it.. “.  

so the answer to Dr. Becky’s questions are basically that we are going ahead with what has already been working, and we will reevaluate along the way. One day at a time… one day at a time for as many days as I have left.  

Altogether, I was at the center for 5 1/2 hours, 3 of those hours were sitting in the treatment room. My nurse today was Wendy whom I have met before and enjoy talking to. She saw that I was working on my journaI so I told her about what I was writing and what I hope to accomplish. She remarked that the journal would be a wonderful thing for the staff to read because most of them only gets to know the patients in a medical way, as opposed to understanding their feelings and how the treatment affects their day-to-day lives. She suggested that I send a link to their office to be shared as well as post on the hospital cancer sites.  I will be able and willing to do so after Jake gets me set up on WordPress, an online site for blogs. 

Later in the day, I enjoyed a long FaceTime chat with birthday boy Zachary and his girlfriend, Caro. They had a wonderful day climbing, using the new climbing gear that Hans and I sent him. Caro closed on her first house purchase yesterday and she shared that experience as well. Their next stop was to go to the best friends adoption center to play with kittens and look at dogs and puppies. People after my own heart 🙂

My post on Facebook  celebrated his birthday and  included info on his newish employment as a mentor. 

Today is my youngest son’s 31st birthday. I could not be more proud of him. Zach loves animals and children. He is empathetic and a good man. He works for an amazing nonprofit. If you want to learn more, check out friendsofthechildren.org. They mentor kids who “face multiple systemic obstacles”  The children come into the program at age 4-6 and remain for 12+ years. Very cool organization and worth checking out. 

BTW They are national and hiring in most locations.

Later this evening, I was reminded about the downside of chemo. My stomach is hurting and growling and hurting and growling, and I have experienced some of the sensitivity to cold liquids and food. The metallic feeling in my jaw and. I have experienced some of the sensitivity to cold liquids and food, but if I keep the food in the back of my mouth and let it soften, I can minimize chewing while experiencing the taste. Moving around has become problematic already, but I will use my walker to make it more bearable.  Hans is back on care duty and I will be back on pain control.