I have high praises for meal train to share with you. Last week, good friends of ours delivered a wonderful fried rice with seared tuna, and baked apples for dessert. My stomach agreed with the menu!  Last night, friends of ours came over with grouper and mushroom pilaf. We have a nice twist on meal train, because not only did they bring the food over, they stayed to eat with us.  We’re thinking this might be a sustainable plan. Guests invited to dinner at our home but they have to bring the food 🙂

The puppies continue to be very comforting and fun for me. I googled dachshund and terrier mix puppies and found some that resembled each foster pup. It’s amazing how easy 2 small breed  puppies are to care for…especially after taking care of 10 large breed puppies! 

Paddington and Penelope are happy, healthy and hopefully will find good homes soon.  In the meantime, I am loving having them here.  I find myself sitting for long periods of time with them on my lap while I absorb the beauty that’s around me. They both love to held all the time, even when we are relaxing in the pool.

We are a little leery for the week ahead, because there is a hurricane that is possibly heading our way with landfall predicted on Thursday. I’m supposed to have chemo on Tuesday and the pack removed Thursday and injection on Friday, but a storm would make that impossible.  Before I had this break and Chemo , Hans and I were questioning whether my pain was from Chemo or from cancer. Now that I haven’t had chemo for over five weeks, I’m still experiencing pain, so I think we’ve got our answer 😦

Here are the questions that I have for the doctor if, and when we see him on Tuesday.

1. If the only way we could see the flat tumor on my small intestine is with the endoscopic surgery, how do we track it and make sure that it is responding to Chemo assuming that there is a chemo that can wipe it out.
2. What does the pathology report say about our progress in fighting the cancer and where does it point us to in the future? 
3. My dear friend Dr. Becky, who began this journey with us and continues to stay close by, suggested I ask the following questions as well..

Do these newly identified cell types alter the chemotherapeutic approach?  If your spouse or sister was faced with these results, what would your advice be?  What are the pros and cons to any of my options?

Anyway, tomorrow is a non chemo day for sure, so we plan on moving cars inland and bringing patio furniture inside in preparation for Hurricane Ian.  

I never really considered how terminally ill people are affected by storms, but I have a close perspective now.   Hurricanes are more scary shit to complicate things in case they weren’t challenging enough.  

Maya Angelousaid, “Hope for the best. Prepare  for the worst.” Her proverb is appropriate for cancer and for storms. 

Although I hold tight to the strength it provides me, my grip often slips and I find myself crying about my fate and scared for the future and that is a scary hole to fall in. .   I do have those moments…on many many days.  It is only when I grab back onto “hope,” that I can climb out of the dark and back into the fight.