Reaching across the years 

I reconnected with my dear friend, Becca, who lives in Arizona. You might have friends like this.. people who you connect with so strongly that even if you don’t see each other for a decade, you can pick right back any tIme. that’s Becca.

Becca and I first met as pregnant first time moms-to-be. We were both the same age, roughly 29-ish.We both  had to have cesareans on the same day with the same doctor because both boys were breach. Becca and I only knew each other for nine months because we moved to Wisconsin, but those nine months were powerful and kept us linked throughout 34 years.  

In addition to being comforted by friends and family, I am inspired by various posts like the one below. In fact I think I’ll share them with you as we go along. They really do help me to cope.

I didn’t pay attention to them before cancer, but now  I have experienced how helpful Inspirational quotes are.  I think I’ll keep sharing them through my story. 

Back in April , unsure what the future would bring and fearing the worst, I found my mind going to the most likely end which seems like it will be sooner than I wish it to be. At any rate, contemplating my own death reminds me of so many movies and books where people are present for their own funeral. My mind drifted to things like, 

1. Should I have a memorial while I’m still alive. Answer no, too egotistical. 
2. What is in my bucket list?  I have traveled extensively,so there’s no place that I feel I must go before I die.  I have enough clothes, purses, cars, houses etc. so nothing tangible. What I really want is to leave behind a functioning happy family. While everyone gets along now, I know that this opportunity is a good one to get everyone closer. I want to be closer to my son’s girlfriend, Krista.  We haven’t had the best relationship but both of us have been working on it for the last few years.  I hope that we can be open and honest with each other and she will understand the love I have for her.
3.   I want to help my sons financially and smooth out their future the little bit I can.
4. I want the boys to have  better connections with Hans who has served as a stepfather for them for 15 years. I want all of them to understand that they are a tribe and to learn to communicate better with each other. 
5. I want to give some jewelry to  the girls so I can enjoy watching them wear it while I am still alive.   Krista collects heart jewelry and I have the perfect gold heart pendant for her.  Claire is a silver girl and Caro is a minimalist.  I know the perfect jewelry pieces for each of them too.
6. I want to leave photo documentation for those I leave behind.  To that end, I have started individual photo books….Sisters, featuring side by side past and present pics of the two of us .  Hans and me…pictures of the two of us grouped by activity.   Gamma and me for little Abigail.   Add in the ongoing photo books I am creating for our two dogs, Roxy and Baxter and the yearly one I make, and I will stay busy updating 6 books!
7. I have always wanted to write a book And I think this is it. I’ve started several books, but never finished them. This time I will finish it one way or another.  (There’s that dark humor again) 

From the photo book “Sisters”