So today was my 63rd birthday and it was very different one than I would have predicted a year ago. I find myself being very grateful for all the support I have from friends and family and I’m touched by the extra efforts that my sons and their wives/girlfriends go through to make sure that I am doing well. Hans has Covid which is pretty shitty timing but I think he’s going to be through it in a couple days. He is just really tired. I’m able to eat a little bit more than I thought and enjoyed a nice visit outside with my son, Brenden, his wife, Claire and my granddaughter Abby. Both of our dogs, Roxy and Baxter seem to really like the baby and Brenden and Claire were cool with letting them explore her with their noses. 

I wonder if today is the calm before the storm and tomorrow I might be looking back on days past where I wasn’t nauseated with special fondness. Hopefully, whatever comes,we can find the magic cocktail of medical marijuana over-the-counter drugs or prescription drugs to keep me moving along and not make each day agony. I hope once my body gets a hold of the right chemo, we can shrink these fuckers down and I can move on to getting my strength back.

Going Public

I realize that some people are very private people and keep all of their news good or bad to themselves. I am obviously not one of those. While I try not to be an “over-sharer,” I do tend to be more open than most people.  Even so, the decision to go on Facebook was a big one.  Bottom line was that I just couldn’t see posting more and more pictures of dogs and cats and me doing this and that without all telling people about this huge change in my life. So I posted this:

This year my birthday will be quite different than the previous 62 years.   Family and friends are helping me rally with distractions from the cancer and the uncertainty it presents,  but the simple truth is the battle is just beginning on Monday when I start chemotherapy.  The hope is that my 2 tumors will begin to shrink and allow me to have surgery in the Fall. As my oncologist says, it is like any battle plans.  Once the first shot is fired, the plans take on a life of their own and often are continually revised.  

One step at a time. 

Please get a colonoscopy when advised to do so and listen to your body.  Be your best own health advocate  Appreciate each day you are able to do what you want to and love the people in your life.  

I also included a fund raiser for my birthday and raised $445 for The friends of Manatee county animal welfare

Happy Birthday to Me!

It’s been cathartic for me and wonderful support from close friends and Facebook friends…people who let’s face it, I don’t really know very well. Despite that, they’re all following and praying and hoping for the best for me and that makes me feel really good.  

Speaking of feeling really good, Zach later sent me this text for my birthday:

Another year, another piece of history with which to understand the impact you’ve made in the world 🌎. Another 365 days that you saved dozens of lives (and got to play with some 🐶 and 🐱 while you were at it). Another trip around the sun ☀️ where you helped feed those who are hungry for food 🍲 and teach those who are hungry for knowledge 📚. Another stroll through the seasons🌷🍁🎄 where you helped to inspire those around you to be better (I know you always have for me). 

As you take your first few steps into this new year, remember that, whatever challenges you face, you don’t face them in isolation. The life you have built is one of great beauty and value, and is full of all of the love and support you could ever use. 

Although this new year is bound to be one of the harder, all of us around you know you to be someone stubborn enough to kick the shit out of anything trying to hold you back. And as much as we can, we will all be by your side kicking 🦵 it as well. 

Without question, you are the grandest inspiration in my life. The individual who has done the most to help me through this absolute mess of bad decision making. You’re not just my mom, but you’re one of my best friends, and I love you with all of my heart. Happy birthday Mom 

That letter means everything to me.  As a parent and as a cancer patient, I realize that my bottom line is that I want my children to be happy whether I’m here or not. I’m so proud of the men that they have become and the women that they’ve chosen.  I can honestly say that not only do I love my 3 sons fiercely, I also really like them.  The women in their lives are dear to me and I love them like daughters. 

Here are some of the memories I have from their trip to care for me. Jake and Krista came in from San Diego, Brenden and Claire are local in Sarasota, and Zach and Caro came in from Salt Lake City. As you can see from the pictures below it was a magical time.